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 All rights reserved by Randy P. Martin |
When I was younger there were two of me. There was the Hannah that everyone knew, and the Hannah that no one understood. The two always fought. The one that no one understood would get feisty and try and peak its head out into my daily life, shrinking back to the inside when it realized people wanted none of it.
Now there is only one.
Sometimes I can't figure out if the two merged into one, or if the one that no one understood died. I don't know whether to celebrate or mourn. My memory of the "other" me is so hazy. The lines are so gray and covered with the suspicion that it was all so naive. All I can do is hope for celebration. Hope that that young idealist finally found a voice and a companion in the me everyone knows.
That's a really beautiful reflection. I kind of think that we just settle into ourselves. :)
ReplyDeleteHannah, beautifully said ... and I think Leslie's comment pretty much sums up what I believe as well: sometimes we move & grow into the "true us" so seamlessly it almost feels like a loss... until you step back and can really see the growth (into & above)your soul has experienced.
ReplyDelete{{Hugs}} to you-- Happy Friday :)
i think so too. merging the two is growing up into who we really are. at least that's what i hope.
ReplyDeletebeautiful! I agree with Leslie too...
ReplyDeleteThanks for your lovely post. I definitely felt this way growing up. I had to struggle to find myself but it all worked out in the end.
ReplyDeleteI definitely feel things have worked out. I'm exactly who I want to be and care about exactly the things I want to care about. It is just so crazy to realize that half a decade has passed without considering my growth process. Now that I've leveled out so much I feel like I missed out watching the growth.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure everyone else in my life saw it though... :)
This is a very interesting thought Hannah- I think our age group is sometimes feels like we're in between - not a kid anymore but still not fully feeling like an adult - at least that is how I feel sometimes. It's all such a process of figuring out "who you are." Very insightful :)
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. I think we all have more than one facet to our personalities that manifest themselves in accordance to which ever company we are in. We are shaped by those around us.
ReplyDeleteThis is so well written! I think everyone has felt like this before and I agree with Stephanie, sometimes I defiantly still feel like I am trying to figure out who I am.
ReplyDeleteHannah, this is a beautiful post. I think several of us feel this way when we grow up. I think a part of it is the circumstances of growing older and maturing. Especially as a elementary art teacher, I often see my students feeling the same way I did as a kid, awkward, left out, misunderstood and the challenge of articulating exactly what they are feeling or experiencing. Aren't you so thankful high school only lasts for four years? I had a great experience, but I didn't feel like I understood who I was as a whole until college and the first years pots-college. Does that make any sense? I'm not sure if it does, but I think I can relate to what you're going through! Thanks for sharing this!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. I understand this. I was there as well.
ReplyDeletedang this was a really good post...
ReplyDelete