20 October 2011

Real Men Do Dishes

                                                                           NOT IN OUR HOUSE!  Source: None via Leah on Pinterest

It is a well-known fact that when it comes to dishes, I rarely have to lift a finger. My husband comes from a long line of dishwashers and it has come to my attention that most other men do not. Apparently, we really push the boundaries of gender roles in our house. ;-)

Last night I was sitting at the dinner table finishing up a glass of Reisling when John walked over to grab a few more dishes off the table and said "you can just keep sitting there, I'll finish things up." Of course, I translated this as "you can keep sitting there if you want to be a lazy bum who doesn't pitch in and help around here." So I responded in suit- "FINE! Sorry for enjoying a drink!"

"Whoa," he said, "I was totally serious. You can just keep sitting there and I'll take care of everything for you.You really thought I was being sarcastic? Malone men do dishes! You just keep sitting there...you cooked dinner!"

Man, am I spoiled or what? 

For the last year of marriage (and years before as we were dating) John has always washed my dishes for me. I still can't believe that he doesn't harbor some kind of secret hatred for me because of it. So every single time he takes care of it I sincerely worry that he thinks I'm lazy...and then every single time I'm blown away by the fact that he genuinely loves to serve me in that way.

And it is always funny to watch the reactions of people that come over for dinner. How many houses do you visit where the man of the house gets up after the meal and starts clearing the table?

Ok, I promise I'm not trying to brag here, really I'm trying to shower John with a big thank you for being so sweet to me, and to poll the audience with the following questions:

Questions of the Day:
How do you divide up chores in your house?
Who does the dishes?
Will you be sharing this post with your husband??? ;-)


  1. That is sweet - Good intentions have to be outlined always, but that is true most of the time we think there is a bit of sarcasm in things like these ones said to us.
    At home we share. I kind of like washing the dishes, but if I am tired or I cooked the diner, my husband will wash them happily. So it's never a chore.
    Have a lovely day!

  2. How sweet! Caleb does the dinner dishes most nights. Deep down I know he doesn't really mind (I think anyway!), but he is always asking what I used each thing for. Like "why did you need to use two whisks?" and "did you really use this grater?" I think that's his way of expressing that he's willing to do the dishes for the dinner we ate, but not so much the cooking dishes! So I usually try to get those done before dinner is ready. I'm just glad I don't have to do dishes after we eat!

  3. If there is one thing I can't tolerate, it's doing the dishes. I'll clean the toilet before I do the dishes! I cook, Jordan does the dishes. No negotiations. I happily do most of the other chores but I don't take the rubbish out, chop chicken (yuck), prune the trees, fill the car with petrol or pay the bills (I do pay for them, I just don't manage them). Oh, and I also don't remove spiders from the house. Gosh I sound lazy now!

  4. Great catch girl!
    My husband always offers but I prefer to do them...he always manages to break/miss/use a gross rag to wash them with. He's sweet to offer but I can do them faster/better anyways... Plus since Im not working right now..I do everything...all he has to do it work - come home happy - love me!
    It has been working SO well!
    xoxo from Trinidad

  5. Our rule is who ever cooks doesn't have to clean. Now that we have kids sometimes we paper, rock, scissors to see who gets to do the dishes...loser has to give kids a bath...lol...it is so peaceful in the kitchen during bath time!

  6. Hannah,
    I'm not kidding when I say I've thought the SAME THING before!! My husband does the same thing. His philosophy is the same...if I cook, he cleans! Which is great, mostly because it shows how awesome and servant-hearted he is, but also because he will set such a great example for our kids some day!
    Yes, our husbands are rare and wonderful!

  7. That is so sweet of him! We always did whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up. But thats kinda a hard rule to follow when both my boyfriend and I cook. Usually we will both clean or sometimes he will just do them all!

  8. Great post. My dad is ex-Royal Navy and taught me and my three brothers to cook and clean for ourselves. Any man who relied on a woman to look after him was nothing more than a mummy's boy. My wife and I split the housework between us, we both work full time so it is only right. Any person who says otherwise is lazy and making excuses to get out of it.

  9. Love this! We split it up. But we usually follow the "you cooked, I'll clean" rule. :) Happy Thursday!

  10. Kyle does the dishes in our house, too. And sometimes, when I'm extra absent-mindeded, the laundry, too. I do the cooking, though...

    We're not so traditional in our gender roles either. Kyle has already told me he wants to stay home with the kids when we start a family. I'm okay with that, actually.

  11. Nothing new here, whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up. We're kind of gender-role defiant at our house because my husband mostly cooks (which means I mostly do the dishes). But it's probably for the best because honestly, I'm better at doing the dishes and wiping down the table and counter than he is. :-)

  12. I am still single, but the rule in my house growing up was who ever cooks doesn't do the dishes! Living alone, that back fires each night... Your man sounds like a keeper!

    And thanks, so much for your nice comment on my guestpost on Sherri Lynn's blog! Stop by my blog and let me know if/when you try it out! I'd love to hear how you enjoyed it!!

  13. since we both work full time, everything is divided based on what needs to get done and who has the time to do it. there's definitely chores I don't mind and he hates (like laundry) and stuff I hate he doesn't mind (vacuuming), so if we're cleaning at the same time, we'll gravitate to our given preferences. but as far as dishes go - it's totally 50/50, which I love. :)

  14. I love this post! I'm not married or even dating anyone and that's probably because of my high standards in men! I blame that fully on my daddy. That man pampers my mother and I, he takes care of the house work and laundry, cooking..you name it. I don't think I will be able to settle down with someone who doesn't have the same characteristics as him.

    Lucky lucky girl for snagging your husband up! Hope you have a great rest of the week!

  15. Love it :) Ben also does the dishes, laundry, cleans, etc. We are both lucky to have men that help around the house!

  16. Alas, I must do all the dishes in my house myself, ha! It's my most hated chore though, so perhaps that should be one of my dating screening questions - how do you feel about doing the dishes?? :)

  17. That is so sweet and such a beautiful way to acknowledge your husband :) It's the same in our house. I cook and P washes up, he actually LIKES washing up! We do chores together, but for instance, over the past few days I've been swamped with training all day, coming home exhausted, he has done everything, except cook. And only because I really like to cook, so I do that. I'm so lucky. I know a lot of women who have it a lot harder.

    PS Hannah, I have two years left on my scholarship. I don't need two years to write the thesis, so I'm planning on having that done by the end of next year and then turning it into a book and publishing papers the following year :) Maybe a baby along the way ;)

  18. sounds like this is starting to be the norm! i too do the cooking, hubby does the dishes. he also sweeps, vacuums and does laundry too!

    we joke with my dad saying he better die before mom because he's gonna get sick of having nothing but sandwiches and dirty underwear. ;o)

  19. wow!... i'm back in blog! i recently got married... finally! yey!

    since I am now a stay home wife.... i usually do all the chores and he help me sometimes.

    I already posted our prenup video in Mt. Apo.

    the link is also available in my post....! nice to be back in blogging.

  20. I cook, Matt does the dishes. It works out swimmingly. Anyway...we wouldn't really WANT Matt to cook. ;)

  21. That is awesome! My hubby totally does the dishes. Probably more here in Cambodia than back home. He does the dishes at other people's houses a lot so they like to have him as a dinner party guest!

  22. I haaaate doing dishes! Luckily the rule in our household is whoever cooks doesn't have to clean up, so I'm usually off the hook :-)

  23. We are the same way! Well, it's usually the whoever cooks doesn't clean up rule, except when there are LOTS of dishes. But usually when we have people over Josh is doing his dishes before people are even done eating. Ha! I wish he would just wait a little, to me it's okay if they sit for a while, but he doesn't like the sink full for more than 10 minutes, whereas I'm okay as long as it's done that evening. It sure is a blessing having a very CLEAN husband!!! I never have to pick up dirty socks or clothes, I never have to clean up dishes he's left around the house. It's pretty awesome. :)

  24. i was all our dishes because my husband does all the cooking, i mean ALL... i am worthless when it comes to cooking so he's the chef and i'm the dishwasher

  25. Nice post. In our house, We share kitchen work so I am also thankful that my husband doesn't have issues it.

    Heel in Mint

  26. What a lovely "thank you" gift for your husband!

    Typically, I cook & Jon does the dishes -- unless I am baking something, which typically results in 3x the dishes, and I help out (read: I clean while I am waiting to sample the cookies :)