11 August 2011

Generosity Killed the Cat

My husband is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet, and I'm not just saying that because he's my husband. I remember one of the first times we met at church, he had picked up a ton of Chick-Fil-A sandwiches from where he worked and we packed ourselves in a car to go find homeless people in need of food. There we were, surrounded by mutual friends, barely introduced, and consumed by the smell of fresh chicken. It started to pour and I remember stopping at an abandoned gas station where an old man was sitting, getting soaked. John grabbed his umbrella went sprinting toward the man, leaving him with both a sandwich and his umbrella so he didn't have to sit in the rain.

As he ran back to the car I thought to myself, "now that is one hunk of a man."

I say this to prove that John's intentions and dealings with people are always pure. He's got a heart the size of Texas, people!



John + little Zimbabwe girl = See? I told you...best guy ever!


Fast forward to two weeks ago, I get a call at my office mid-morning with a panicked husband at the other end of the line. Boy did he have one hilarious story to tell...

We live in a pretty decent area, but just a block east of us is...well, let's just say I don't walk around by myself at night.  John was leaving the house around 8:00 a.m., as usual, when a homeless woman stopped him at the entrance to our complex and asked him for money. He politely declined, not feeling comfortable doing so as she seemed pretty heavily sedated by substance use. She asked if he would at least be willing to give her a ride to the next block and, his conscience now heavy-laden with the guilt of pushing her aside, he agreed to do so.

So she plopped into the passenger side of his tiny silver Miata and they started down the street...one eye on her at all times as she didn't seem to be in her right mind and was lacking judgement. She continued to ask for money and would point at ATMs here and there saying, "look, you could just get a little cash for me right there!"

With John refusing to offer a hand out the woman now proceeded to solicit John for sex. For a fee, she could perform any number of services for him and then be on her way...fiddle-dee-dee. John, now absolutely mortified that he had picked up an opportunist hooker and offended that someone would offer to perform such things for a fee sternly explained that "no, he would not like a blow job" and that "he was married, very happily married, and not interested in such things from strangers...or even other people he knows that are not married to him." (Good man, see?)

Thankfully the corner (red flag...) where she needed to stop wasn't far and he was able to escape with little more than a shell-shocked psyche and one too many unpleasant mental images, feeling dirty the rest of the day.

And that, my friends, is the story of how my husband- eager to help and offer good will- accidentally picked up a prostitute.









32 comments:

  1. OMG Hannah, this is too funny
    Your poor sweet and kind husband
    I'm sure he will never live this down :o)

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  2. Ahhh! Poor John! I'm sure that's an experience he'd rather forget ... (I must admit, this story definitely made me chuckle, though... It sounds like it could be out of a movie :)

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  3. Lol! That is so funny. Just found your blog!

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  4. OMG! That is funny, but your poor husband! You caught a good man though, more like a great one!!

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  5. Omigosh, lol! Poor, poor John! That sounds like a situation Kyle might get himself into. He's always breaking down and giving money to anyone who comes to the door with a sob story about selling magazines to pay for their tuition or something. Sometimes I have to remind him that just because someone needs help, it doesn't mean you're the one that can best help them.

    But I'd much rather love a man with a too-generous heart than a miser who can't ever think of anyone but himself.

    Great, great story. Aww...

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  6. Oh my ... what a funny story :) Must have been a bit awkward at the time though.

    ♥ Cat brideblu

    ps. the chik-fila sandwich story made my heart melt ... what a GREAT guy :)

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  7. lol wow. That's freaky! He was just trying to be nice and had to deal with a crazy lady!

    Sounds like a great guy though :) I still never had Chick a Fil, i am dying to try.

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  8. Bahhahahhah this is hilarious! same thing happened to my dad! But the thought is what counts! you have a very sweet hubby :)

    Lots of love,
    simplycamylla.blogspot.com

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  9. that story is great. too bad it was probably terrifying in the moment. i can't believe that happened!!! dang skankavich.

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  10. Bahahaha! Oh my goodness! AH! I feel bad for him. hahaha!

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  11. OMG that is funny and scary at the same time. Your poor, good-willed husband ;)

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  12. that's was too funny! poor guy!

    you two make a really lovely couple :)

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  13. oh no....I am laughing...but oh no! We always offer to buy meals to those in need...never really give money...it is a little sad, but you have to sometimes :)

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  14. sounds like you have one great husband!

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  15. Haha, lesson learned! Poor guy! If your lives were a sitcom, he probably would have been pulled over by a police officer and THAT would have created an even more awkward/awesome story. ;)

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  16. What a CRAZY story! Your husband sounds like super sweet guy :-) But I can't believe he let a stranger in his car - he's faaaar more trusting that I am!

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  17. Haha... oh em geee... that is too funny!

    Although it does sound like you have a great husband :)

    Also cute blog you have here :) I'm a fan

    ~Tammy
    www.bayparkdream.blogspot.com

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  18. oh gosh, i'm glad it ended well. i mean, her pimp could've seen her get out of his car, or...well, i won't play devil's advocate here. let's just make sure he sticks to handing out sandwiches from now on, ok?

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  19. OH GEEZ! LOL aweee hahaha. This definitely makes for a great story though huh! :)

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  20. LOL .. funny... well written!!

    AJ
    http://ajstates.blogspot.com

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  21. Very well written and I like the storytelling, I hope to see more of your posts in the near future. Thanks and if you have the time please check out my blog too. http://poetryjunkies.blogspot.com/ Thanks!

    P.S. You two look good together I saw the happiness in each of your eyes :D God Bless you two!

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  22. OMG! that is too crazy! interesting way how you started..such a juxtaposition!

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  23. Yikes! Poor John! I love that you said you received a panicked phone call from him! Can you imagine being a fly on the wall in that car?!

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  24. Oh my gosh!! Poor guy, I can't even imagine!! I picked up a younger guy one time - looked like he was a freshman in college - he said he needed 20$ for gas and he would pay me back. The gas station was only 5 min away, so I took him with me...which everyone I told about this freaked out on me, but he was a very scared, innocent-looking kid. He said he'd send me money and I could call his GRAMMA for proof he was a stand-up kid. I gave him my business card to send me the money, I'm not silly enough to give my real address (esp since it was when I was living alone with my friend Kristen). Of course I never received the money and felt very irritated I was being generous and helpful and got cheated. It was right after sermons at church that talked about going out of your way to help people...ugh, what was I supposed to do?

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  25. Oh my...how awkward! At least it turned out okay in the end!
    Sounds like you have a fab husband!

    Rachel @ www.vicarswifeintraining.blogspot.com

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  26. That's nuts! but you have such a wonderful husband, and the weirdest things do tend to happen to the nicest people!

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  27. BAHAHAHA! loveeee this story. going to read it to my husband :)

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  28. Thank you for sharing this link! I am not one for Turkey Burgers but went to her blog and grabbed a recipe for chkn noodle soup casserole I cant wait to try :)

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  29. OH MY GOD you're poor (v v nice) husband!!! Great story though :P
    <3

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